Marketers, cold callers... And your answers

[Zee]

What's your best?


I personally get an insane amount of unwanted phone calls from all sorts of SCAMMERS, companies, agencies etc.

Sometimes, when I'm short on patience (I'll admit, it's quite often) I would try to throw them off.. .if I even answer the phone.

They'll introduce blablabal and I'd yell something like this in an angry grumpy voice "Rodriguez you idiot, I told you that the pallet of hand grenades go over here and the crate of 50caliber goes over there!!! What's wrong with your ears you idiot??? You want me to throw one at you??" And then I'd say to the caller on the phone "I'm sorry what was that you needed and who gave you this phone number?"



Oh man.... "uh-umm yes *gulp* sir I'm calling to tell you about blablabla..."
And then I'd say "you make sure to lose this phone number, you hear?" And hang up...hopefully before I lose it and bust out laughing.


It's funny to come up with unexpected stuff to say.

 

[Jimmy L]

I just let them ramble and set the phone down. They catch on and hang up.

 

[Jim Williams]

Whenever I recognize the number as a sales call or Yelp or Home Advisor I always answer and say "Trump tower." They usually say "I'll call back."

 

[sassyotto]

ah, the advantages of using an answering machine (I know - old school)

 

[ruff]

Most these callers call multiple numbers, therefore there's a short silent period before they pick up.
I try to hang up before they do.

The ones that are too fast the usual response is: "Whatever you're selling I'm not buying". Usually, I suppose, that does the job. But I don't wait to find out, so who knows

 

[Cleanworks]

Mr zee. This is special agent in charge of the FBI. We would like to talk to you about a case of missing hand grenades....

 

[FredC]

Robokiller

 

[Zee]

Mr zee. This is special agent in charge of the FBI. We would like to talk to you about a case of missing hand grenades....

Come on over ...nothing to hide.

 

[Zee]

Robokiller

Do you pay monthly or yearly?

 

[FredC]

Do you pay monthly or yearly?

Year

But I’ll probably just go back to mr number or similar after the subscription runs out. The novelty of listening to the bots talk to spammers has worn off

 

[Old Coastie]

I’m too busy cheesing off legitimate inquiries to bother with this thread.

Apparently.

 

[Nomad74]

Where do I start. Does Orbot count?

 

[Mikey P]

I just hang up.

 

[Hack Attack]

early in the week I can be polite with them

 

[steamron]

When it happens I have a Bose Radio sitting near by the volume is up over 60.
My wife has a CD in it Adele 25, the first song is Hello,
So we tell them to hold on for the manager, set the phone down and turn that Bose on and walk away. My wife laughs every time.

 

[PrimaDonna]

We have our vonage phones ring to our office and a number that will terminate these types of calls. Several still slip through because they have started making the calls look like local numbers or they are a local advertiser or web guru. They almost always ask for John, and I honestly tell them, "He's never available at this number, is there something I can help you with, what is this call in reference to." Funny how many of them are used to saying "I'll try back later" and automatically do that, of which I remind them, they will never get him at this number. Occasionally with that answer, they will then ask if I'm in charge of ___________. Most times it's something we already are set up with and I can say we are happy with our current provider, please remove us from your calling list.

But, there are always those few cocky ones that refuse to tell me what the call is about. Like they are playing reverse psychology on me by telling me they can't tell me what the call is about unless they are sure I'm the right person to talk to. Then it becomes, I can't put you in touch with the right person if you won't tell me what the call is about. And remind them they called me, not me calling them to get their super secret info. I string those suckers along if I can just because of how irate they get and then they usually hang up on me!

 

[Askal]

This is the Interagency Wildland Fire Control Center. Don't ever call this number again. It is a federal offense.

 

[Askal]

Or... A very graphic description of what you want to do to their mother. Very graphic.

 

[Zee]

Or... A very graphic description of what you want to do to their mother. Very graphic.

Oh you're in for a surprise when you find our that the person comes from one of them alternative creepy two daddy families and they'd love to mee(a)t you, so you could do all that you just wished for.



Yeah...

 

[Old Coastie]

I just say “Look, in respect of your time, I’m not a buyer. Go ahead and call the next guy on your list.”

To the point.

 

[SamIam]

Please do not hang up!!!!!

Click!


Does that line ever work?

 

[Nomad74]

Mike can back me up on this. He's heard my personal answering machine greeting.

I bought a cordless phone set with built in answering machine off Amazon. It was an open box buy but it was about half price. When I hooked it all up, the caller ID was loaded with Texas phone numbers, the answering machine had messages on it from Grandma and Aunt Rita, and a pre-recorded greeting. The greeting is of some little kid yelling into the microphone "You've reached the Reyes family, please leave a message". Obviously my phone had been a store return that was then sold on Amazon.

The greeting is still on the phone. I think it's funny when marketers try and call me and hear they are calling the Reyes family, lol. If I don't know you or recognize the number, you ain't getting through. Mikey hung up the first time because he thought he had the wrong number.

 

[randy]

Once I was at the farm getting ready to shoot and this robocaller calls 4 of my lines in a minute or less. I got pissed and answered and proceeded to act like I thought she was "my counselor, " I continued to ramble on about my girlfriend breaking up with me after I accidently killed her dog, my mother refusing to share her meth with me and my sister n law bugging me to babysit all the time. Then I said " I'm just sick of life" placed my .40 close to the phone and squeezed off one round and then immediately muted it. The telemarketer freaked and was screaming for a supervisor.

 

[steve_64]

I use to say yes just a minute then put the phone down and go on about my business.

 

[Zee]

I avoid saying "yes" at all times. You don't want them scammers to record your Yes and use it in a scammy way.

 

[steve_64]

I avoid saying "yes" at all times. You don't want them scammers to record your Yes and use it in a scammy way.

The yes would get them waiting. Had one still on the line after 15 minutes. They were still on the line so I just laid it back down for about 30 minutes. They were gone then.

That was 20 years ago too.

 

[Old Coastie]

Had a call from some dude pretending to be from FEMA today. He was phishing.

I hurt his feelings the way God intended.