Learning to tolerate Donald Becker

[Mikey P]

-What led you to get into this business?

-Describe your best cheerleader and what it took to make him or her so.

-Where was your business five years ago and where will it be five years from now?

-Who do you emulate in this industry and why?

-Start over from scratch, how would you go about it?

-How have the Boards helped your biz?

-If you had to pick a wife from the few women who participate on the Boards who would it be??

 

[hogjowl]

Make sure he knows that danny is not an option on that last question.

 

[XTREME1]

Here is todays lesson on tolerating Becker. I have mapped out a 27 step program

1. Listen more effectively. Listening is the number one tool in communication, especially when dealing with difficult people.

2. Step back and analyze the situation from an outside perspective. When we are less emotionally involved and “cool our jets," the answers come for how to effectively deal with them. Whether dealing with a difficult boss, dealing with a difficult co-worker, or spouse.


3. Ignoring often doesn’t work. The tension becomes so thick you can cut it with a knife.

4. Choose your battles. There are times when you have to “let it go." Know when to speak up and when to pick your battles.

5. Criticize in person, praise in public. Never publicly criticize someone as you will look like the bad guy and the difficult person will only become more upset.

6. Maintain respect for them – even if you disagree or dislike them. At least acknowledge what they say. Think about how you would want to be treated.

7. Seek first to understand then to be understood, especially when dealing with difficult people.

8. People often won’t care what you think unless they think you care. At least attempt to see it from their perspective.

9. Maintain high expectations and standards if you are managing this employee. If you don’t do this you will be seen as enabling their unacceptable behavior.

10. Strive for greater communication. Often, it’s not that there isn’t enough communication, it’s that it’s bad communication. So work on improving your conflict resolution skills. If you are a manager, consider training everyone in conflict resolution. One of the main reasons teams fail is because some of the people on the team don’t like each other, or aren’t skilled in handling conflict.

11. Invest in communication skills courses and conflict resolution skills courses to improve the part you can control – you.

12. Don’t lose emotional control. Antagonists and “passive-aggressives" will often try to push your buttons.

13. Avoid being around difficult people when they’re in a bad mood. If they’re always in a bad mood, try being around them when they are in a “better" mood!

14. Accept, change or reject. Know that ultimately you only have three choices.
1) Accept the situation knowing it won’t change.
2) Attempt to change your relationship with them by changing how you react.
3) If it’s really affecting your well being, it may be time to “reject" the situation and move on.

15. Avoid "but." No “but’s" allowed! For example, don’t follow giving them positive reinforcement with, “But on the other hand…" The word “but" only negates everything positive you just said.

16. Non-verbally position yourself at their eye level. For example, if they are sitting when you talk with them, sit. If they are standing, stand. Converse at their level.

17. Avoid the word “need" when possible and use “want" instead. Saying politely and tactfully, “John, I want to have the project in to me by noon so that we’ll meet our deadline. “Want" is more assertive as long as it’s in the right tone.

18. Watch your tone of voice. Avoid an autocratic or sarcastic tone. The Latin root of the word “sarcasm" is “sarco" meaning tearing of the flesh!

19. In face-to-face communication, words account for 7% of what people notice and believe about you. Tone is 38% and body language 55%. So a full 93% is tone and body language.

20. Give sincere positive reinforcement when they do something well. Show genuine appreciation. Often difficult people are difficult because they feel unappreciated.

21. Avoid absolutes such as, “You always" and “You never." It puts difficult people further on the defensive.

22. Don’t take it personally. Often they’re difficult because of something going on with them.

23. Watch your mental state. Don’t let them drag you down. A little of that can be normal but don’t allow it to go on.

24. Remember the person who constantly angers you, or constantly intimidates you, controls you.

25. Mutually agree to move on. Agree to disagree. If this isn’t possible, at least “move on" in your own mind.

26. Attempt to understand what’s driving that difficult behavior. Get at the root cause, even if you only try to figure it out in your own mind.

27. E + R = 0. Event + Reaction = Outcome. You can’t control the event, but you can control the outcome based on how you react or respond. Be careful how you respond.

 

[bob vawter]

You forgot....# 28
“No one can get your goat if they don’t know where it’s tied up.”

 

[Bruce Humphrey]

LMAO Bob, so true.

 

[Becker]

-What led you to get into this business?
16 years old, looking for a summer job. Min wage was like $4.85 at the time. I was smarter than that.
Started passing out flyers and became a professional window cleaner. That same year I started lining up vacant apartments and houses, then renting a Rug Doctor for the day. Soon I found a place to rent a Ninja for the day, then by the week.

-Describe your best cheerleader and what it took to make him or her so.
I can't say that I have a single best cheerleader. I have so many great clients that are involved in there neighborhood. Most have young children, pets, hard working husbands, and may work outside the house themselves. So many have brought me so much work! I have never had the goal of being the best carpet cleaner. I have a goal of being the best carpet cleaner my clients have ever used. I have a goal of building a friendship with my clients. My clients love me, and cheerlead for me, because I was on time, did the job to expectation or beyond, sincerely care about the clients family and cleaning concerns. I have a knack for remembering why it was the client had the carpet cleaned last, ( mother in law coming to town, grad party, cleaning up after putting a sick dog down) or just something, or anything to bring up the next time I see them, enforcing the fact that they are important to me and for the time they feel as they are my only client. Sadly my clients hire me, not Platinum Professional Carpet Cleaning. I'm self employed no doubt. I have created a great job for myself.

-Where was your business five years ago and where will it be five years from now?
Five years ago, it was about the same as now. I was about 2.5 years into a new location after moving 300 miles across the state. I was on cruise control. The hard work I put into my new business the 1st year was paying off and repeats and referral were flowing in.
Currently I am slowing transferring back across the state again. 2009 I will more or less completely start over. 5 years form now I should be a business owner, not just self employed. I currently working on rebuilding a used TM I bought to install into another van.

-Who do you emulate in this industry and why?
Again, not just one person.
Mikey P. His passion for the industry.
Al Sims. Seems to be one of the hardest working guys I know.
Ron Werner. I may give him crap for his vacuuming, But he cuts no corners anywhere.
Curt Johnson. The guy can put the beer away.
Dirk Wingrove. Being able to keep up with Curt.
Jim Martin. This guy always seems willing to help, and has a picture to explain it.
Greenie. He really wants to make our lives easier, and make a buck along the way.
Jim Eckman. His history in the industry, The man is living life!
Shawn Forsythe. Honestly one of the most knowledgeable men I know.
Waldo. I don't think I'm off base, but this man is the Dog. Runs a business, and works full time. He apprears to be a great provider for his family.
Adam Hale. I have a lot of respect for men like him. Very Honest, helpful. I little conservative, but a heck of a good guy.
Ken Snow. Deep down, we would all like to sit in the command center of his operation, if only for the day.
I could go on an on all night, so many here inspire me.




-Start over from scratch, how would you go about it?
I will maintain most of my core business practices, but from the start I will try to build a business, not just a really good job. My clients won't just be hiring me, I will be able to send an employee out.
I will target neighborhoods much like I have here, going after that same demo, I have always targeted. Young families.
Direct advertising has always given me the best ROI.


-How have the Boards helped your biz?
These boards are like an online encyclopedia. Problem comes up, ya post it. 60 mins later ya have 30 replies. I feel these boards keep guys motivated. They have me.

-If you had to pick a wife from the few women who participate on the Boards who would it be??
Are there women who participate?


Greg, Thanks for the mindless advice, where did ya copy and paste from?

 

[Mikey P]

-If you had to pick a wife from the few women who participate on the Boards who would it be??
Are there women who participate?

Pick one.

Patty G
Anna
Neva
Lisa S
Lisa W
Darlene
Stacy Becker
Debra Lema
BBGaryC

 

[Becker]

Whos Anna?
Oh.. Anna... The one that can say a mean thing to anyone.


Can I pick Jennifer Johnson from ICS?

 

[Mikey P]

Who?

Is that one of your neighbor gals?

 

[Becker]

Search Jennifer Johnson on ICS.


Oh wait...

Ya can't, or can ya.. :wink:

The party is over in the Snohomish Hood, all the girls seem to hate each other.
I tell ya, who needs to watch desperate house wives, when ya live in Monte Visa.

Oh the stories I could tell.

I won't miss all the drama around here.
I've stayed on the good side of everyone, but all want me to take sides. F- That!

 

[Mikey P]

I can do anything, I'm the sheriff of this town.

 

[Becker]

You are so much happier with some wine in you, whats been uncorked tonight?

 

[Mikey P]

2 Coronas and a gallon of Sure Seal in my lungs.

 

[Studebaker]

Sure Seal

Is that also grape flavored

 

[Mikey P]

shit!



Donald was so boring the first time I forgot all about it.


at least his answers were longer


Good job Don!