The GG return policy...

[Mikey P]

Lisa's ultra liberal policy drives me nuts.

https://greenglides.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/GreenGlides-Guarantee.pdf

I'm going to change it to:

Full refund or exchange on return of Glides in like new/sellable condition.


If the Glide fails in the first six months we'll replace at no charge. Damage from improper installation is not covered.


If you bought the wrong Glide and used it, but it's in a sellable condition at a discount, we will offer 25% off a new Glide.


Please call if you are not 100% positive about what Glide you need.






any suggestions?

 

[Dolly Llama]

any suggestions?

"Cat claw tack strip marks are not a product defect"...

..L.T.A.

 

[Nomad74]

You should add “ Every returned glide results in the death of one Pug puppy”

 

[Jim Pemberton]

instillation

Installation.

Other than that, return policies are really marketing devices:

The stronger your guarantee, the more you will sell, and the more returns you will have. The weaker your guarantee is the reverse of course.

Look at your profit margin, and decide what an acceptable amount of loss for unusable returns might be, and decide from there.

The Turks have a saying: "Every addition to the truth is a subtraction from the truth"

So it is with return/warranty policies. The more you qualifiers you put in, the weaker and less attractive you look to a buyer.

 

[Mikey P]

Installation.

Other than that, return policies are really marketing devices:

The stronger your guarantee, the more you will sell, and the more returns you will have. The weaker your guarantee is the reverse of course.

Look at your profit margin, and decide what an acceptable amount of loss for unusable returns might be, and decide from there.

The Turks have a saying: "Every addition to the truth is a subtraction from the truth"

So it is with return/warranty policies. The more you qualifiers you put in, the weaker and less attractive you look to a buyer.

sure but my only competition is Joe FU Bristor.


Who's policy is:

RETURNS​

Our policy lasts 30 days (720 Hours). If 30 days have lapsed since your purchase, unfortunately we will not offer you a refund or exchange.

To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it. It must also be in the original packaging.

If everything checks out to our satisfaction we will issue a refund (minus shipping fees) to the credit card used to make the purchase. If you used PayPal Express, the refund (minus shipping fees) will be issued through PayPal.

 

[Jim Pemberton]

sure but my only competition is Joe FU Bristor.


Who's policy is:

RETURNS​

Our policy lasts 30 days (720 Hours). If 30 days have lapsed since your purchase, unfortunately we will not offer you a refund or exchange.

To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it. It must also be in the original packaging.

If everything checks out to our satisfaction we will issue a refund (minus shipping fees) to the credit card used to make the purchase. If you used PayPal Express, the refund (minus shipping fees) will be issued through PayPal.

Understood.

And I was just offering guidelines, no criticisms of your proposed policies, to be clear.

A less verbose response:

500.00 Glide? 5 year warranty and shipping both ways paid on returns, no questions asked.

50.00 Glide? No guarantee. Use a burner phone for all transactions, and only take cash up front.

 

[Johnny]

Lisa also had the extraordinarily generous policy of free glides for cleaners sixty years and older.

 

[Mikey P]

Lisa also had the extraordinarily generous policy of free glides for cleaners sixty years and older.

yep, had...

 

[FB19087]

yep, had...

Why do you hate old people Mike?

 

[Cleanworks]

Why do you hate old people Mike?

Because he's getting there.

 

[Mikey P]

Why do you hate old people Mike?

Because most of these assholes aren't even on the truck anymore. They're like Marty and they sit around all day and give their free glides to their kids.

 

[Cleanworks]

Yep, old and grumpy. Next thing you know, he'll be buying a recliner

 

[Willy P]

Yep, old and grumpy. Next thing you know, he'll be buying a recliner

Crepey Skin: 6 Causes and 6 Natural Treatment Tips

Crepey skin is a natural result of aging that can appear all over the body. Know various causes and how to treat it naturally.

www.doctorshealthpress.com

 

[Mikey P]

I've had quite a few conversations with people who got free glides due to their age or because they did Lisa a favorite at some point and they expect me to carry on and the tradition. I remind them that Lisa got out of this business because she wasn't making any money.

There's one high roller in particular with an AT that was riding on his dad's coattails free glide policy for 15 plus years who basically told me to **** off and if he had to pay for them he was going to buy him from Brewster


FYP

 

[Jim Pemberton]

I've had quite a few conversations with people who got free glides due to their age or because they did Lisa a favorite at some point and they expect me to carry on and the tradition. I remind them that Lisa got out of this business because she wasn't making any money.

There's one high roller in particular with an AT that was riding on his dad's coattails free glide policy for 15 plus years who basically told me to **** off and if he had to pay for them he was going to buy him from Brewster


FYP

I think that these types of stories reveals more about the people on the receiving end of the free glides than Lisa for her thoughtful, but overly generous policy.

I have some cleaners in their 70s and 80s cleaning because they have glides. All but one gladly paid for them.

The one who objected to not getting a free one last time was told what you told those who complain.

He completely understood, and paid for his next two glides.

He retired at 82, still in very good shape and happy with the extra years the glides gave to him.

 

[Mikey P]

One old ************ called in with a $1,200 order. All sorts of stuff.. through a total shit fit when we told him to policy it was no longer in a place



as I've said before, Lisa gave away more money in glides in 2019 then she declared an income

 

[Jim Pemberton]

One old ************ called in with a $1,200 order. All sorts of stuff.. through a total shit fit when we told him to policy it was no longer in a place



as I've said before, Lisa gave away more money in glides in 2019 then she declared an income

This guy seriously expected 1200.00 worth of free glides?

Ed York had a story (probably not true, but its true it was a story, to quote Sheriff Bell) about a "little old lady" who insisted on a senior discount, then was later discovered to be a horrible slumlord who abused her tenants with high rents and high handed tactics for any deviation from the rules.

 

[Jack Zipper Zerkie]

I have a conway wand and only use it with my portable not the truckmount. My now wand for old guys like me 80 yrs young. The Mytee two jet with a yellow glide from Cobb , It works 2-110 -04 jets and lots of vacum. I have lots of energy to clean 2 jobs a day no helper or if its large or 2nd floor I use a helper to move the hoses and furniture. It's better than going to a gym for me. jz

 

[Mikey P]

This guy seriously expected 1200.00 worth of free glides?

Ed York had a story (probably not true, but its true it was a story, to quote Sheriff Bell) about a "little old lady" who insisted on a senior discount, then was later discovered to be a horrible slumlord who abused her tenants with high rents and high handed tactics for any deviation from the rules.

#truth

 

[Willy P]

Between playing rugby and hockey, my back is a mess at 65,my knees got wrecked installing floors. But using a glide gave me some extra years.

 

[Cleanworks]

Wouldn't want to clean without a glide today. There is a big difference between a greenglide and a cheapie. When you pick up a greenglide, you know you have something solid in your hand. The cheap glides weigh nothing.

 

[Jim Pemberton]

#truth

If you have a list of the people who took advantage of her kindness, perhaps they should all be put on every email list for the support of aged pugs and related hairy, incontinent creatures.

The least they can do is give back to Lisa's and related charities after getting a free ride so long.

 

[Willy P]

If you have a list of the people who took advantage of her kindness, perhaps they should all be put on every email list for the support of aged pugs and related hairy, incontinent creatures.

The least they can do is give back to Lisa's and related charities after getting a free ride so long.

Please don't drag me into this. And the incontinence only happened once. I sneezed at an inopportune time.

 

[Mikey P]

#truth

If you have a list of the people who took advantage of her kindness, perhaps they should all be put on every email list for the support of aged pugs and related hairy, incontinent creatures.

The least they can do is give back to Lisa's and related charities after getting a free ride so long.

The rusty pug retirement ranch will continue to see donations from Green Glide, USA for as long as I own the company..

 

[Trip Moses]

Can I trade in my slotted GGs with 6 months of abuse, wait, I mean normal use for some hybrid glides. You can use them for a tack strip beach mark study.
It can be a “always fresh glide” program. The used ones can be the freebies for cheap SOBs that have no concept of profit.

 

[BradFenstermaker]

Mike I think the new Juan looks good.
If folks want a real good glide they will find GG.

They want cheap crap they won't call you.

Man I did not realize Lisa had the generous offer to Older cleaners.

Personally for me if I was old and making a living with the glide, I would have to pay for it.

Disgusting to think of the folks taking advantage of that for years. POS move if ya ask me. Lisa is a sweetheart.

 

[Mikey P]

Can I trade in my slotted GGs with 6 months of abuse, wait, I mean normal use for some hybrid glides. You can use them for a tack strip beach mark study.
It can be a “always fresh glide” program. The used ones can be the freebies for cheap SOBs that have no concept of profit.

Sounds great!!!

 

[Doug Rice]

Speaking of old, how do I get my older, very seldom used GG to stay on my Hydrahoe wand? Every time I take it out of the truck it falls off.

 

[Mikey P]

Speaking of old, how do I get my older, very seldom used GG to stay on my Hydrahoe wand? Every time I take it out of the truck it falls off.

External fit or internal?

 

[encapman]

Mike, ecommerce can be a brutal world at times. When it comes to returns — as Jim said above: "The stronger your guarantee, the more you will sell, and the more returns you will have. The weaker your guarantee is the reverse of course." I agree. You're best off if you can absorb some of it.

Don't let people take advantage of you — of course. But sometimes you'll also need to chalk it up to the cost of doing business / take it on the chin and move on. It's not always easy to do, but we're talking big-picture long-term growth and success. Doing right by your customers may cost you in the short-term, but it will reward you in the long-run.