Ad-copy fluff and crazy run-on sentences

Zaccattack95

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Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
35
Location
Grant, Michigan
Name
Zacchary Allerding
I’m pretty sure I have a couple of these in my garage. I’ll look tomorrow and take some pics. When my local vac shop owner retired ( very good friend ) I helped clean out and sort machines and parts to keep. I’ve got a garage full of Kirby parts and misc other machines/ parts among some older machines.
 
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The Great Oz

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Joined
Nov 25, 2006
Messages
4,535
Location
seattle
Name
bryan
If you read that ad copy in the manner of an old-time TV pitchman it might make more sense.

Or, people didn't read any more carefully a hundred years ago.
 
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Mikey P

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Joined
Oct 6, 2006
Messages
93,542
Location
The High Chapperal
I prefer Tire fluff...


  • -Traction-Armor Sidewall Sculpture: Designed to boost traction capabilities in mud and soft soil thanks to a notched shoulder design and to prevent hazards from snagging and splitting the sidewall.
    -Terrain-Attack Tread Design: Tread blocks are designed to deliver incredible grip from any angle of approach.
    -Mud-Phobic Bars: Created to release compacted mud for enhanced traction in muddy and soft soil conditions.
    -Linear Flex Zones: Built to allow the tire to flex and envelop objects in aired-down situations.
    -UTV-Specific Tread Compound: Grips rock and other slick surfaces.
    -Stable Tread Blocks: Help provide foundation in rocky conditions.
    -Tough Sidewall Rubber: Helps resist splitting and bruising.
    -Thick, Extended Shoulder Rubber: Helps protect the critical sidewall failure zone.
  • Made to Mud:
    -Power through mud and loose soil with our Terrain-Attack Tread Design. Its massive tread blocks are designed to deliver incredible grip from any angle of approach, and Mud-Phobic Bars help release compacted mud for continued traction.
  • Built to Climb:
    -Take on Earth’s toughest terrain with advanced UTV-specific tread compounds that help enhance grip on rock and slick surfaces. Stable tread blocks are designed to provide foundation in rocky conditions for comfortable trail navigation. Plus, a Linear Flex Zone allows the tire to flex and envelop objects in aired-down driving situations.
  • Created to Conquer:
    -Go places others only dream of, thanks to race-proven advancements. Tough sidewall rubber helps resist splitting and bruising, and its Advanced Deflection Design is built to prevent hazards from snagging and splitting the sidewall.
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encapman

Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2006
Messages
2,075
Location
St Petersburg, FL
Name
Rick Gelinas
Balm Boyette and Alafia are our local favorites. 50 years ago phosphate miners could walk away and abandon their spent mines. Today they have to restore the land as if they were never there. But fortunately for us flat-landers, some of the old abandoned mining land has been converted into some very nice MTB trails. Some of the topography is like moon craters.


 
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