DEALING WITH DOGS

[Jimmy L]

Summer time is here and I'm wearing my upscale cargo shorts.
Its too hot to wear my signature zebra scarf.

But here is my problem.

Everytime and I mean everytime I show up at a "Client's" house the dogs in the house come up to me to be petted.

I don't like to reach down to pet them because I am allergic to them. (Cats too)
If I pet them I always seem to touch my eyes or other parts of exposed skin and hives erupt.

I tell the home owners my condition before hand......always.

Well it goes in one ear and out the other and they ALLOW their dog's feces smelling noses and butt licking tongues to slather up and down my legs.Then when I don't acknowledge them they begin to CLAW my legs to shreds.They are beginning to look like pieces of sliced up meat.

I take alot of time in my personal preparation into shaving and applying coco butter so that my legs are silky smooth.Everyone thinks tan legs are socially "Hip" but I pride myself in having white pasty healthy looking legs.Chicks dig this as I have asked them what they think of my legs.

But anyway how do I get these mongrels off of my legs?

Should I get some habenero peppers and make a spray to apply to my legs?

I would love to see these horrid animals cough and their eyes bug out.
Maybe go into convulsions and die.

I'm nice to the dogs when the home owners are around but when I round a corner and they follow a swift kick sends them the message.

Anybody else have these problems?

:shock:

 

[Art Kelley]

Nobody wants to see your legs. Just wear long pants like a normal man. You wont burn yourself with hoses or boiling water either.

 

[Hoody]

Paint thinner

 

[Jim Martin]

spread a little anti freeze instead of coco butter on the fish belly white legs..........

 

[truckmount girl]

Don't come to my house!

Take care,
Lisa

 

[Nate The Great]

Don't come to my house!

Take care,
Lisa

:shock:

I can't stand dogs in the house. Outside yes, inside gtfo.

 

[truckmount girl]

But look how happy they are! They love the Tempurpedic!

Take care,
Lisa

 

[Nate The Great]

But look how happy they are! They love the Tempurpedic!

Take care,
Lisa

lol. We have actually 2 customers that love there pets so much, it's sickening to know the sh!t the get. And they can do no wrong. It's not an accident after the little basturds do it more then once or twice.

 

[sweendogg]

It amazes me to no end why some people want to do service work in peoples houses then complain to high heavens about being around pets, or around kids, or around any part of the house. If you are allergic to cats/ddogs.. where pants and take some zyrtec or something/! :shock:

 

[Chads]

What the hell are you shaving your legs for ,dang dude just put some freaking pants on and quit whining about how hot it is. common sense would tell me that being licked and the chance of getting hives screw that you should throw out all your shorts.

 

[steve g]

a squirt of POG right in the nose does wonders for repelling the dogs away, I have been known to do this when the customer has mean dogs that they have failed to put away, back in my early days a pit bull was behind a very small fence at a neighboring house, due to the area we were in we had to park the truck right next to the fence, every time we came out the pit bull would freak out and just about come over or through the fence, after a little squirt of POG that dog got as far away as he could from us. the animal rights people are fruit cakes these days and if someone was to do that nowadays, they might just see jail time, its funny people get 18 mos for animal cruelty, when others who commit identity theft, sell drugs, steal cars etc, get set free because of jail over crowding

 

[renegade_cowboy]

I just hate when they try and smell my junk.

 

[handdi]

P eople
E ating
T hose
T asty
A nimals

 

[harryhides]

Jimmy, all pets are naturally wired to sniff out urine and feces. Clearly you habitually dribble urine down your legs and hence this annoying problem. Either start doing exercises to tighten up your prostate or wear a diaper.

 

[Desk Jockey]

He just needs to go up a size, try the over night pullups Jimmy!

 

[Jimmy L]

Maybe I should spray myself with wolf urine so they will run away?

But thanks for the tips.

I 'll call my wife to go ahead and pick up some adult diapers.

:shock:

THE REST OF YOU SMART ASSES CAN KMA!

 

[sweendogg]

Well bend over and we'll pucker up!.. (then we'll let the dog out!)

 

[joe harper]

HEY JIMMY :shock: :shock:

WoNdEr...If you would "Sh@T..YOUR..PaNtS" ....When you saw THIS :shock: :shock:

This is JeRry...He is a goverment trained "CIA".....ATTACK GOAT
He is trained to detect...TeRrIoSt...& QuEeRs... :roll:
So most Carpet Cleaners have a 50%...chance of getting-in









BTW: He was trained in PrAtTViLlE.....sssshhhhhhh :!:

 

[joe harper]

hEY.....PePsI :?: :?: :?:

Is this GoAt a "ROUGE AGENT" :?



there is a black helicopter.....flying over my office :shock:

 

[Blue Monarch]

 

[Jimmy L]

My other job was sacking groceries at Baker's supermarket.

Maybe I really am a retard?

WELL IF I AM, RETARDS CAN SAY WHAT EVER THEY FOOKIN WANT!


FOOK YOU ALL!



:shock:

 

[Guest]

if you dont like dogs get out of the business dogs are better than humans qiut being gay and if you really dig your legs why dont you turn gay??///?//?/

 

[Hoody]

That statement was pretty ghey itself, Scott.

 

[Guest]

SpE LL MUCA h

 

[Jimmy L]

I AM NOT GAY SCOTT AND YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME!


Do all the MORONS always live in NY?


:shock:

 

[Guest]

no they live in nebraska wih aLL THE PLOW jockeys

 

[Jimmy L]

Scott I'll be leaving here on Greyhound this afternoon and heading your way.

I want you to pick me up when I arrive on monday about 5:45 am.

We'll have a few beers and then hang out at the strip club where yous mother dances down on the corner from yous house.

:shock:

 

[Brian R]

That Ghandi fellow said
"you can judge a county on how they treat animals" or something like that.

Anyway, This is just part of the business. They shit on the floor and we clean up the after effects.
They meet us at the door and if you give them the love, the homeowner feels comfortable with you.
It's just how it works.

Suck it up camper (pun) and start greeting those things with a smile.
Your allergies are fake and only happen because you allow them to.


This has been a moment with Brian.

 

[Willy P]

They just want to hump those silky smooth legs - Pick them up and give them a bl..... um, never mind.

 

[Brian R]

They just want to hump those silky smooth legs - Pick them up and give them a bl..... um, never mind.

Yea it's really cool to see their little leg going a mile a minute when you hit the right spot.
Are we talking about the same thing? :shock: