HELP...I NEED A VAC-TAT STORY

[bob vawter]

I'm STILL getting a LOT of action on my Vac-tat.....

but i'm running out of stories to tell about it!
Where ever i go...people (girls) see it and say sumthin' like...
O look...a vacuum...isn't that cutewhat's the story on THAT???

i used to jus say i'm a carpet cleaner...but THAT got boring so then i changed it to....
i'm in a CC cult.....but now THAT'S getting old too.......
come on Harp Man...hep me wit a story...
as it's ALWAYS the young cute ones that ask.....

i love my Mikey Vac-tat.....being the narcissist that i am...
i love the attention........

 

[Bob Foster]

Tell them when you were in the Big House that you were a model prisoner and worked your way up from the laundry to the Warden's office. He had a broken train set at home that he wanted you to look at so his son could play with it again.

His wife showed you her vacuum and you fixed that.

When you went back to your cell that night you told your homies what you did but they didn't believe you and wanted to teach you a jail house lesson.

So Butch pulled out his safety pin that he had kiestered and used some ink and scratched out a tattoo to brand you as a Warden Ass Kisser.


Not much has changed has it Bob......

 

[Art Kelley]

Tell them when you were in the Big House that you were a model prisoner and worked your way up from the laundry to the Warden's office. He had a broken train set at home that he wanted you to look at so his son could play with it again.

His wife showed you her vacuum and you fixed that.

When you went back to your cell that night you told your homies what you did but they didn't believe you and wanted to teach you a jail house lesson.

So Butch pulled out his safety pin that he had kiestered and used some ink and scratched out a tattoo to brand you as a Warden Ass Kisser.


Not much has changed has it Bob......

That's a plauisable story, Foster. When I see tatoos on old guys I think either homos or Navy guys. Or inmates or bikers. Or passing out in Mexico and someone having fun at your expense. Your inmate story was good, but the only other explanation that would make sense for a vac tat would have to do with with homos.

 

[bob vawter]

kiestered

To smuggle or conceal in ones anus. To hide a foreign substance in ones rectum.


Whats funny is:
I had to look it up........

Jesus this board is a hoot!

 

[Brian R]

Just tell them that you won the Hickey giving contest and that was the trophy to prove it.

Then you proceed to show them how you won it. !gotcha!


Man, I gotta do everything around here.



Edit: Don't forget to tell them that you'll do it in an inconspicuous area so nobody else will know. shiteatinggrin

 

[joe harper]

bAwb...

Tell them that your X-wife "sWitChEd" teams...& became a lesbian...

I an effort to convince HER she was making a mIsTaKE..... :idea:

You challenged your WIFE to a "Pu-s-Y eating contest" with her NEW lover .... :shock:

Not only is she your X-wife NOW... :!: :!: :!: :!: .....BUT....

You were DruggeD & forced to live in the wood's ...with a "pAck-oF wiLd-lEsbiAnS".... :arrow:

The "TAT"....was forced upon you... :!:

It is a "cuLT" symbol....meaning...The GREATEST "cArpEt mUnCheR" in the TRIBE.... !gotcha!

 

[Bob Foster]

:shock:

 

[bob vawter]

i do like the prison story......... 8)

 

[Royal Man]

Tell them it's a picture of your mistress.

She is a Hoover upright.

Best head you ever had and it saves you money on not having to buy all those dinners and getting them drunk first.

 

[Brian R]

All seem to be from experience.

 

[Dolly Llama]

tell 'em you're a retired JANITOR

tell 'em your next tat will be a TOILET BOWL BRUSH


..L.T.A

 

[Desk Jockey]

Tell em that an old girlfriend bought for because she said you hit the carpet like a machine.

Then ask them if they want you to prove it. NO wait, dial 911 first, then asked them if they want you to prove it.
:mrgreen:

 

[Dmreed4311]

Tell them that you really wanted a skull tat but a vac was all the guy could draw and it was 3 in the morning and you said what the hell

 

[Hoody]

i love my Mikey Vac-tat.....being the narcissist that i am...
i love the attention........

I think you're confusing narcissist with spoiled-rotten-only-child syndrome, both are one in the same.

 

[bob vawter]

i love my Mikey Vac-tat.....being the narcissist that i am...
i love the attention........

I think you're confusing narcissist with spoiled-rotten-only-child syndrome, both are one in the same.

Jus cuz i wouldn't let you drive.......... ! :roll:

 

[sam miller]

Just say "My parents used to fight all the time when I was young and I would do anything to make them stop so I would clean the house the car the bathroom finaly I would just Vacuum the whole house to drowned them out.

Its very painful to remember the fights but that Vacuum made me not hear the bickering going on. Today kids have Ipods to drawn out the noise back then all I had was a Kirby.

This Vacuum saved my life.

I vowed never to argue or fight like that and always listen to that special someone whoever she is.

enough about me whats your sign baby????

 

[bob vawter]

good one...but i still lik the kiester story.........

 

[Brian R]

good one...but i still lik the kiester story.........

Careful how you word stuff Bawb. lol

I may have to make that my new signature. :shock:

Of course it will be in quotes...I'm not "lik" that.....Not that there's anything wrong with it. :mrgreen: