Did you ever see "Goodfellas" Mike?
Near the end a cop puts a gun to Henry Hill's (Ray Liotta's) head and uses some fairly pungent language. In his narration he said he knew he was going to live, because if it was a hit, no one says a word. f Only cops talk that way.
When they are talking trash to you and yours, they aren't going to sue you. Its when its all quiet and smiles that the hit (or the certified letter) comes along.
And yes, I've gotten my share of "well formulated" letters from lawyers to understand the process all too well.