My Cover Letter & Resume... Critique this!

[Jeremy]

Yup... I'm getting a J-O-B...


Cover letter:
Jeremy D. Sweetland
5 Thomas Ct.
Scottsburg, IN 47170

April 2, 2007

Marquetta Motsinger
Hampton Oaks Health Campus
966 N. Wilson Road
Scottsburg, IN 47170

Subject: Letter of Interest

Dear Marquetta:

I am writing to express my interest in joining Hampton Oaks Health Campus as the Director of Plant Operations. I believe my enclosed resume demonstrates that I have the professional skills and experiences to expertly manage the facilities of your company.

In my small business, Brightwork Inc., I maintain over 80,000 square feet of commercial & residential carpet, VCT, ceramic tile & natural stone per year. I have enough “hands onâ€ÂÂ

 

[Royal Man]

I all looks great to me except I wonder if that last line would give them cause for concern. They want to know that you will put their company first and not yours. (it's just the way it is)

You want to be honest with them. Maybe you can cross that bridge at the interview?

Don't shut the door to the interview with the last line.

 

[Bryan Irvin]

Jeremy, I agree with Dave. Your business wouldnt be competition for them as far as income goes, but they might see it as competition when it comes to your focus and attention. Some things are just better off unsaid.

 

[Charlie Lyman]

Address the recipient as Mrs. Motsinger.

 

[Jeremy]

Roger that.

 

[danpauselius]

Run spell check ... if it turns up nothing, read it carefully.

Best of luck!

 

[steve frasier]

I agree with Dave, based on that last line, I would toss your resume

My question might be that if you have a company with that many employees why are you looking to me for a job, it usually works the other way around

it would be my guess that their equipment isn't as good as yours

Was the salary advertised in the paper? To be honest with you, for the mid west, I think you are a little high but I could be wrong

is that an all inclusive compensation or just what you want in salary

are you up on all the OHSA laws in your area
read, update and keep on file MSDS sheets
blood borne pathogens training
custodial/janitorial training
Team cleaning vs zone/section cleaning vs standardized cleaning(job cards), is one better then the other, why or why not

question, do you know how much sq. ft. a person should be able to clean with minimal obstruction

demonstrated skill that you can speak well in front of a group and be a team leader

Would you also be in charge of the maintenance department, so do you have basic maintenance experience, HVAC, Boilers; high pressure low pressure steam and hot water heating systems, filters, compressors electrical, basic wiring, damper controllers, energy management systems, plumbing, etc

do you know how to pressure test a boiler safety system so you don't have a run away boiler

just some of the random thoughts that come to mind, I am not trying to get you to over think it but you might be asked questions about some of this stuff but then again it may all about the managing of others so you might want to brush up on what your managment style might be

if you get an interview, make sure you have a list of questions to ask

 

[Greg Loe]

entrepreneur is not what they will hire. If you have any personal goals that doesn't include benefiting them, you won't get it.

 

[RickL]

Drop the last line

The last line would absolutely get the resume tossed. It also reads like someone who is applying to do the cleaning or supervising instead of managing/hiring people, doing budgets, presentations, etc.
This is for a DIRECTOR not a Supervisor or lead tech in my opinion this resume would not qualify for furthur review. But good luck hope it works out.

 

[XTREME1]

That is his application for The Apprentice, he is just playing with you guys

 

[Jimmy L]

Conflict with owning your own business.

Just tell them you are a manager at Mcdonalds now.

 

[Jester]

JAR HEAD'S Don't need formal education all were required to have is a good target.

Lock & Load