new 1/2 page postcard/flyer. Have at it!!!
- Thread starter Chris A
- Start date
Brian R
Member
Don't talk about You...talk about them...make it all about them
Use Market Data not Product Data
Play on emotion not on cleaning.
I like the Clean, cleaner, cleanest thing.
Use Market Data not Product Data
Play on emotion not on cleaning.
I like the Clean, cleaner, cleanest thing.
I think if you keep the paragraph that starts "since 1985" and get rid of the rest of the writing , then make the pictures bigger(which ever ones you use) it would be a better ad. There are so many words for such a small area I don't think most people will take the time to read it. Also I don't think its a good idea to talk negatively about other cleaners. That one paragraph says a lot without saying to much-
I think if you keep the paragraph that starts "since 1985" and get rid of the rest of the writing , then make the pictures bigger(which ever ones you use) it would be a better ad. There are so many words for such a small area I don't think most people will take the time to read it. Also I don't think its a good idea to talk negatively about other cleaners. That one paragraph says a lot without saying to much-
I think if you keep the paragraph that starts "since 1985" and get rid of the rest of the writing , then make the pictures bigger(which ever ones you use) it would be a better ad. There are so many words for such a small area I don't think most people will take the time to read it. Also I don't think its a good idea to talk negatively about other cleaners. That one paragraph says a lot without saying to much-
I think if you keep the paragraph that starts "since 1985" and get rid of the rest of the writing , then make the pictures bigger(which ever ones you use) it would be a better ad. There are so many words for such a small area I don't think most people will take the time to read it. Also I don't think its a good idea to talk negatively about other cleaners. That one paragraph says a lot without saying to much-
Desk Jockey
Member
I've seen so guys do some great work for carpet cleaners, but I'm always amazed at what Wayne Miller can do to improve even some of the best ones.
I can understand not having the funds to have it professionally done, but if you think of how much better a Flyer or Postcard will pull vs the cost, I think a professional should be considered every time.
I can understand not having the funds to have it professionally done, but if you think of how much better a Flyer or Postcard will pull vs the cost, I think a professional should be considered every time.
Ron Werner
Member
I would make the Offer more bold, ie stand out.
ASk yourself, what is it about this copy that would compel someone to call you?
What is it about you that they haven't seen in someone elses copy?
The pics will grab their attention, esp the carpet pic. Now that you have their attention, what would you really want to tell them about your service?
ASk yourself, what is it about this copy that would compel someone to call you?
What is it about you that they haven't seen in someone elses copy?
The pics will grab their attention, esp the carpet pic. Now that you have their attention, what would you really want to tell them about your service?
Desk Jockey
Member
I do the same, I make it and am pretty pleased then send it to Wayne. I'm always blown away at how much better he improved my initial idea.
Not in any way belittling your work, but I just think if a pro can make it not only look better but increase your return then it's worth the extra investment!
Not in any way belittling your work, but I just think if a pro can make it not only look better but increase your return then it's worth the extra investment!
rhino1
Member
Seems like we are all looking for that magic bullet, that perfectly worded phrase coupled with just the right pictures and white space to make your prospects fall into a swoon and be willing to hand over a fistful of dollars. I wonder if we all don't sweat the little details of our ads maybe a little too much. Let's face it, if you happen to send the right offer at the right time to the right person you will get a chance at a customer. Period. Some will like your ad, some won't, most will not even look at it between the mailbox and the trashcan.
Desk Jockey
Member
You got it Chris, it's just a cycle.
Hopefully having the right picture and message motivates them to action if they are in the cycle. :wink:
Hopefully having the right picture and message motivates them to action if they are in the cycle. :wink:
Royal Man
Member
Remember that if this ad is going to cold customers they are going to give it the 2 second read before it hits the trash can.
Simplify the wording and make the pictures larger especially the cleaning one.
25 years is repeated 3 times. Since 1985 is repeated twice. (Once is enough.)
The headline doesn't need the words "every time"
I like to list common customer problems and then how your company will solve them.
Make it easy to read with bullet points.
Some of the text could be color or reverse print for impact.
"Call today..." should be near the special.
Phone number should be near the special.
If the special is for new and existing clients then isn't it for every one?
The "$25" should be larger , 3D, color or something to make it look well, special.
A deadline would make a more action oriented call to action.
The phone number and other info on the bottom may even get covered up by the postal bar code.
My 2cents-
Simplify the wording and make the pictures larger especially the cleaning one.
25 years is repeated 3 times. Since 1985 is repeated twice. (Once is enough.)
The headline doesn't need the words "every time"
I like to list common customer problems and then how your company will solve them.
Make it easy to read with bullet points.
Some of the text could be color or reverse print for impact.
"Call today..." should be near the special.
Phone number should be near the special.
If the special is for new and existing clients then isn't it for every one?
The "$25" should be larger , 3D, color or something to make it look well, special.
A deadline would make a more action oriented call to action.
The phone number and other info on the bottom may even get covered up by the postal bar code.
My 2cents-
rhyde
Member
Too wordy
And needs more color/ graphics
And needs more color/ graphics
Wayne Miller
Member
If you enjoy it I'd encourage you to keep at it.
I'd suggest not talking about your competition, though. When you figure a 1/2% to 1 1/2% or maybe 2% response rate to your mailings, doesn't it seem kinda silly to talk about your competitors when you finally get a prospects attention? Why build a straw man when you can focus on the benefits of using you?
If you were a single guy and checking out at the grocery and the cashier was some hot babe you really wanted to meet, would you spend those few precious moments checking out quizing her about her old boyfriends or putting your best foot forward showing her the better side of you?
Chances are, if you perceive certain obvious things about the industry as a problem, so does your prospect. Splash-and-dash and high pressure upsells, for example, are an understood. Instead of saying, "We don't send out guys after a day or two of training" why not simply say "we only send competent, trained professionals to your home."
Just MHO, bringing the competition into the discussion makes you look weak.
Other than that, use images as big as you can and try to blend them in rather than plopping them in.
I'd suggest not talking about your competition, though. When you figure a 1/2% to 1 1/2% or maybe 2% response rate to your mailings, doesn't it seem kinda silly to talk about your competitors when you finally get a prospects attention? Why build a straw man when you can focus on the benefits of using you?
If you were a single guy and checking out at the grocery and the cashier was some hot babe you really wanted to meet, would you spend those few precious moments checking out quizing her about her old boyfriends or putting your best foot forward showing her the better side of you?
Chances are, if you perceive certain obvious things about the industry as a problem, so does your prospect. Splash-and-dash and high pressure upsells, for example, are an understood. Instead of saying, "We don't send out guys after a day or two of training" why not simply say "we only send competent, trained professionals to your home."
Just MHO, bringing the competition into the discussion makes you look weak.
Other than that, use images as big as you can and try to blend them in rather than plopping them in.
Desk Jockey
Member
If she's that good looking, I'm hanging around sacking groceries for free! :wink:
