Win a brand new Sapphire Scientific Upholstery Pro Hand Tool

[flummer5]

Paramedic KILLS Couch!!

I am the owner of Code 3 Carpet Cleaning
And this poor couch, that was in for a beating

This is ironic because I am a Firefighter / Paramedic
But this poor couch thought I was pathetic

At the time I was new to the cleaning industry
And this poor couch would be my first causality

After cleaning the owners carpets with the 360i
She asked if I could get rid of stain on her couch that looked like red dye

So I went out to my ambulance for my iron and red relief
I could get rid of this stain without any grief

When I went out to get the damp towel to make this stain gone
I set the iron on the couch not realizing it was on

This ladies poor neighbor came rushing over thinking she was dead
Because there was an ambulance in front of the house that was bright red

While I was trying to calm the neighbor down
I was unaware the iron was trying to burn the couch to the ground

By the time I got back into the house
There was a VERY noticeable burn mark on the couch

As a paramedic I have seen lots of burns
But the sight of this couch burn made my stomach turn

I hung my head in shame, paid for her couch and took it with me
And used it as a training prop to master the art of cleaning upholstery


My company’s slogan is:

“Saving your dirty carpet”

To which this witty lady quickly added:

“And killing your couch”

 

[Rob Anspach]

Yes Lee it was.

I started my own business in 1995...and with a Bane. It was what I could afford at the time. And it made me a great deal of money. I also owned a ProChem...but the ProChem required way too much maintenance.

I've found over the years that it really doesn't matter what equipment you use, as long as you understand why you are using it.

 

[Ron Werner]

It was a bright sunny day and I had been in busn for about a year or two. A lady wanted her loveseat cleaned. We've all seen them, white cotton corded material with a polyester roses pattern sewn into the fabric. Since she had a deck that was easy to access, I moved the loveseat out on the deck so
One, I wouldn't have to worry about over spraying since the Kleenrite tool over sprays all over the place (too lazy to put down drop sheets).
Two, I would be able to bring the hoses over the deck rail and not have to drag hoses through the house, and
Three, it was a really nice day and why not clean outside if I can.

I was using my old Big Red with the Kleenrite upholstery tool. The hoses were modified to keep maximum heat to the tool, around 200+F, ie using a bypass and recirculating water back to the Red.
My prespray was the old Prochem Uph Prespray, pH 8. With the low pH it was safe to use on everything (or so I thought) and it really cleaned well too! (I wonder if they still make it??) I'm thinking this should be a straight forward cleaning. I believe I was using a mild acid rinse.

I presprayed the cushions and rinsed them, everything was looking good. I was happy, the work was going well, the sun was out, the furniture was cleaning well, I had to wear shades it was blinding me! All was well UNTIL I started on the back of the frame. It just seemed like it was cleaning a weeeee bit too well. The roses were fading!!! Oh Crap! They weren't fading...the colour was stripping out!! It was like cleaning a heavily soiled fabric and watching it clean right up except I wasn't soil coming off!

Now what!!?? I had already cleaned 1/3 of the back, so what do I do? I thought, "I can't leave it like this", so I kept cleaning and made the whole thing look even. Then I told the customer (A client is someone you work for repeated, a customer you see once :-/ ) what happened. Fortunately the customer was very forgiving. (whew)
It was a very clean loveseat after I was done.

 

[martin bressel]

It wasn't the first time I've been inside a 10,000 square foot home to clean. I had been contacted by Amelia, head of housekeeping for the Mallory Estate. A beautiful chalet-style home on 1000 rolling green acres with several ponds and trees you'd only see in a Thomas Kincade portrait. Amelia said the homeowners would be arriving in a few weeks and the family would be staying there for the summer. Since the last visit, their now 10-year-old twin boys had hopefully grown out of their "destructive phase'. Amelia rattled off the list of painting and staining projects her team and outside contractors had done in the last month to fix the last rampage the twins, Teddy and Freddy had caused. In a home filled with collector's items, sports memorablilia and rare antiquities, there was not a lot of room for jello flinging and full combat frisbee.

On my arrival, Amelia pointed to an outside entrance that would provide me best access into the Mr. Mallory's office. She said I would be cleaning a chair with the ink stains, but, before she could go inside and show me, the gardner called her in a panic about another crisis caused by the twins. I thought, "No problem" and entered the office and found chair immediately. I could see those boys really knew how to "do in" a chair. Sitting in the center of the office, opposite of a beautiful cherry L-shaped desk sat a red cotton chair with black sharpie marks. Clearly, I could see the names "Teddy" and "Freddie" along a couple of names with short messages scribbled onto the back, arms and seat of the chair.

I applied my magic pre-spray for some dwell time and agitated it with a horsehair brush. The entire time inside the Mallory office, no matter which direction I turned, there seemed to be amazing items everywhere. It was better than any museum or sports hall of fame I had ever been to. To see Babe Ruth's first play jersey in beautiful framed case and speciality lighting was incredible. I had to stay focused and couldn't justify staying here all day, I kept on task with my steam extraction. I could see the chair was turning out beautiful and looked brand new.

After inspecting my work, I returned to my van to finish wrapping up. Amelia came over to my van from the garden area, apologized for having to leave so unexpectedly and thanked me for my prompt arrival and professionalism. I couldn't help commenting on how much I would love the have some of Mr. Mallory's collectables in my home and/office. Amelia concurred and started telling me about the family's history. The Mallory's twin boys' name sakes were actually Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt and Fredrick "Freddie" Mallory. Fredrick was the boy's Great Grandfather and served as Teddy Roosevelt's Chief-of-Staff for his entire presidency. Amelia furthered informed me the I might have seen a red chair in Mr. Mallory's office. That chair was from President Roosevelt's office where he and Fred Mallory sat often to discuss domestic and foreign affairs. "Teddy" Roosevelt and several other staffers all signed the chairs as a parting gift to Fred Mallory at the end of his service.

She said Mr. Mallory will be happy his favorite white chair finally would white again after his ink pen leaked. Probably, the one and only thing not caused by the mischievous twins! With that information, I informed Amelia my cleaning services were complimentary and my Hartford insurance policy was on the back of my business card.

 

[Mikey P]

Omg...Need we go on?

 

[Desk Jockey]

Free? Martin deserves to be paid for that job, give him the tool!

 

[Jimmy L]

It was many years ago that I was such a young buck..............full of piss and vinegar. All confident....handsome....(Some said I looked like a Brad Pitt look a like).
Well I was running my typical Penney Saver ad , you know those super low coupon prices?

Well I got a call on the bad side of town and away I went!.
I showed up and we did the walk through ( They didn't quite understand why ) and we settle on my super low price to clean their carpet.

Well I did such a super job cleaning their carpet that the lady asked me to give her a price on this 25 year old sofa.
I said sure! At the time I had a job and this type of work was just gravy and it put food on the table.

So I give her this super low price as not to break her budget.

I went out to the truck and grabbed that off the shelf all purpose cleaner that had an orange scent ( I love that orange scent!)
Since it was a synthetic and something that looked like even the dump would reject it I proceded to HOSE IT DOWN with that all purpose orange high 14 ph degreaser!

That surely would cut through all of that body oiled, pet infested fabric!

After some dwell time I pulled out my internal jet PMF tool and started to extract it!
My first stroke as I pulled back revealed that the sofa was NOT multicolored...........but WHITE!

As I sat there trying to internalize what was happening I finally determined that the sofa was NOT white..........but I had taken all of the color out of it!
I finished cleaning and showed the lady.................SHOCKING to say the least!

Well having admited to my cleaning FOLLY....................I gave her the carpet cleaning for free and offered to take her down to the GOODWILL to replace that sofa!

She didn't like that idea so I gave her $50 in cash.

She turned out to NOT be that long term "Client" that would give me thousands of dollars in work over a ten year period!

 

[Lee Stockwell]

Sadly I have no upholstery horror stories to tell.

I blame Murray Cremer, Wally Webber and Bill Yeadon for that.

 

[Mikey P]

I could beat you all but already have two of these wonderful tools.


If I were the judge I'd pick Jimmy so I could hand deliver the tool with an additional 32 feet of hide a hose attached and floss his intestinal track with it.

 

[Deleted member 51539]

One more... Just for the sponsors...

I’m in love with you Upholstery Pro.

I can’t stop thinking about you everywhere I go.

Your Dual Slot permits full rapid Extraction.

Your lightweight and flexible hose exist for My satisfaction.

Do you remember what we did on that couch last night?

The way you angled your cleaning head in my hand, felt oh so Right.

Daily job’s are now running as smooth as can be.

Portable or truckmount you’re the one for me.

I can’t stop thinking about you Upholstery pro.

I’m dying to use you everywhere I go.

 

[Mikey P]

I've decided to extend this contest one more day and up the ante by sending each qualified entry (not YOU Marty) a free gallon of Chemspec Fine Upholstery Shampoo!

This mild alkaline pH high foaming detergent instantly emulsifies oily soil, agglomerates and suspends for easy removal when used in hand cleaning processes. Fast Drying Upholstery Shampoo incorporates special drying agents to speed the drying process.
[h=2]Crisp, dry residue retards resoiling –[/h]Fast Drying Upholstery Shampoo is formulated so that any shampoo residue remaining after foam removal dries crisp and completely. The crisp dry residue is designed to tie-up any greasy or oily soil for fast, complete dry vacuum removal. The result — no oil, no soil, and no residue to promote resoiling. Upholstery appearance remains higher longer.

 

[Buck1955]

After reading the Teddy story, I'll go ahead and order one.

 

[Lee Stockwell]

Sadly I have no upholstery horror stories to tell.

I blame Murray Cremer, Wally Webber and Bill Yeadon for that.

Big oversight: even though I never took his class in PERSON, I listened to Lee Pemberton's tape set over and over until I wore it out. It was sure comforting many times when I felt "on my own".

 

[flummer5]

To my current upholstery tool:

I am very excited to tell you goodbye
You will soon be replaced by this scientific guy

His design is second to none
So your days with me are done

Getting rid of you is an easy decision
Because his housing is made of nylon resin

With your overspray you make such a mess
He has no jets to cause me any more stress

No more vacuuming in one direction
His dual vacuum slots allow for more rapid extraction

Constantly pulling your trigger was a chore
His auto locking trigger means I will do this no more.

He has a control valve for easy fine tuning
Your old technology I now find completely amusing.

In closing I guess this is goodbye
So please feel free to cry!!

 

[Deleted member 51539]

To my current upholstery tool:

I am very excited to tell you goodbye
You will soon be replaced by this scientific guy

His design is second to none
So your days with me are done

Getting rid of you is an easy decision
Because his housing is made of nylon resin

With your overspray you make such a mess
He has no jets to cause me any more stress

No more vacuuming in one direction
His dual vacuum slots allow for more rapid extraction

Constantly pulling your trigger was a chore
His auto locking trigger means I will do this no more.

He has a control valve for easy fine tuning
Your old technology I now find completely amusing.

In closing I guess this is goodbye
So please feel free to cry!!

EDIT:
An Ode to my current upholstery tool:

I am very excited to wish you goodbye
You've been replaced by this Scientific guy

His design and appearance is second to none
So count your days with me, soon they are done

Disposing of you is such an easy decision...
I like a housing made of nylon with pure precision

With your overspray, you can make such a wild mess
While He has no jets to cause me any more stress

Gone are cleaning passes made in only one direction
His dual vacuum slots whisk away any trace of infection

Constantly pulling your trigger was a fatiguing chore
His auto locking trigger means I will do this no more

He has a control valve for ease of fine tuning
While your old technology, I find completely amusing

In closing, I guess this is where we say goodbye
So please don’t hate me and it’s OK to cry!!

 

[Spurlington]

..

 

[Mikey P]

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!​

It wasn't the first time I've been inside a 10,000 square foot home to clean. I had been contacted by Amelia, head of housekeeping for the Mallory Estate. A beautiful chalet-style home on 1000 rolling green acres with several ponds and trees you'd only see in a Thomas Kincade portrait. Amelia said the homeowners would be arriving in a few weeks and the family would be staying there for the summer. Since the last visit, their now 10-year-old twin boys had hopefully grown out of their "destructive phase'. Amelia rattled off the list of painting and staining projects her team and outside contractors had done in the last month to fix the last rampage the twins, Teddy and Freddy had caused. In a home filled with collector's items, sports memorablilia and rare antiquities, there was not a lot of room for jello flinging and full combat frisbee.

On my arrival, Amelia pointed to an outside entrance that would provide me best access into the Mr. Mallory's office. She said I would be cleaning a chair with the ink stains, but, before she could go inside and show me, the gardner called her in a panic about another crisis caused by the twins. I thought, "No problem" and entered the office and found chair immediately. I could see those boys really knew how to "do in" a chair. Sitting in the center of the office, opposite of a beautiful cherry L-shaped desk sat a red cotton chair with black sharpie marks. Clearly, I could see the names "Teddy" and "Freddie" along a couple of names with short messages scribbled onto the back, arms and seat of the chair.

I applied my magic pre-spray for some dwell time and agitated it with a horsehair brush. The entire time inside the Mallory office, no matter which direction I turned, there seemed to be amazing items everywhere. It was better than any museum or sports hall of fame I had ever been to. To see Babe Ruth's first play jersey in beautiful framed case and speciality lighting was incredible. I had to stay focused and couldn't justify staying here all day, I kept on task with my steam extraction. I could see the chair was turning out beautiful and looked brand new.

After inspecting my work, I returned to my van to finish wrapping up. Amelia came over to my van from the garden area, apologized for having to leave so unexpectedly and thanked me for my prompt arrival and professionalism. I couldn't help commenting on how much I would love the have some of Mr. Mallory's collectables in my home and/office. Amelia concurred and started telling me about the family's history. The Mallory's twin boys' name sakes were actually Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt and Fredrick "Freddie" Mallory. Fredrick was the boy's Great Grandfather and served as Teddy Roosevelt's Chief-of-Staff for his entire presidency. Amelia furthered informed me the I might have seen a red chair in Mr. Mallory's office. That chair was from President Roosevelt's office where he and Fred Mallory sat often to discuss domestic and foreign affairs. "Teddy" Roosevelt and several other staffers all signed the chairs as a parting gift to Fred Mallory at the end of his service.

She said Mr. Mallory will be happy his favorite white chair finally would white again after his ink pen leaked. Probably, the one and only thing not caused by the mischievous twins! With that information, I informed Amelia my cleaning services were complimentary and my Hartford insurance policy was on the back of my business card.

Very Nice Martin!​

 

[Mikey P]

Those of you who entered and would like a free gallon of Chemspec Fine Upholstery Shampoo please send a request to John Olson


Thank you very much for your great submissions!

 

[Mark Saiger]

Way to go Martin!

Very deserving after that "Experience" story!

Mark Saiger

 

[Deleted member 51539]

Mikey... You are a Worthless ****!!!

**** you and your Bull Shit Board full of want a bees and no talent having shits...

 

[Lee Stockwell]

Mikey... You are a Worthless ****!!!

**** you and your Bull Shit Board full of want a bees and no talent having shits...

Fred, other mods: PLEASE don't delete this until identity verified. If it's who I think this needs to be engraved on his tombstone...

 

[PDES-SC]

I dunno, sounds like a disgruntled wanna"bee", English drop out to me. Give him a new avatar and lets play with him. Here, this should work:

http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j346/Gulgamesh/wannabee_zps43afbf41.gif

 

[Desk Jockey]

Oh my!!!!!

Who ever it is signed off as Duane Oxley in Judson's Misconceptions thread.

Prior to that he said he was a SM franchise in the thread selling the yellow Butler.

 

[FredC]

Fred, other mods: PLEASE don't delete this until identity verified. If it's who I think this needs to be engraved on his tombstone...

lol...do you really think I would delete that?

 

[Shane Deubell]

Yikes, if these guys are wannabes then i am really screwed.

 

[Mikey P]

Wayne Vincent what's was that out burst alol about?

We had to pull one story due it's X rated nature, other than that, why are yoiu going out of your way to get booted from the only forum that will take you?

 

[John Olson]

Tell me in advance when you decide that I am giving stuff away so I am not left wondering why people are sending me messages asking for free stuff...With that send me your address and I will get to work on getting you the stuff

 

[Mikey P]

We did talk about it.

 

[John Olson]

Yeah I see that now LOL didn't realize you had already ran the contest.

 

[GCCLee]

John Olson" data-source="post: 4267149" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch">

Yeah I see that now LOL didn't realize you had already ran the contest.

Rag on me some more Johnny : )
Thats wut ya get, lol