your suggestions?

F

FB7777

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Here's a postcard I am sending to 1000 previous customers in March
post_card_fred_1c.jpg


I will be following up with a similar card in early April that Wayne did for me


The first card I am also distributing several hundred to 2 retailers that refer me


I have reminder cards that will be going to all customers as well during those months for anyone serviced within the last 6-36 months

This should jumpstart what I consider to be a relatively slow winter season for me.

any ideas for a June mailing?
 

XTREME1

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because i am trying to find something wrong with it, there is no real offer and if all other services are capitalized why not Upholstery.
I really like it and it is to people who have used you. I know I get feedback from people who use the K-guy and always say I got a 10% or 15% that is why I didn't look for another cleaner and he sends out like 15,000. He charges alot more than me and more than probably you
 

Brian R

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Looks great...Wayne's stuff always does.

It's a little to wordy and cluttered though.

I would leave it at

"Our goal is your absolute delight"

Any wordy stuff might be better to put on the back such as

Since 1988
Family owned and operated
Commercial and residential
etc.



Greg is right...watch what you capitalize and what you don't....a little inconsistent.




The maximum cleaning, minimum residue could be better

Maybe something like
Clean as clean can be with NO sticky residue

Mines not great either (little wordy) but I don't think the average customer will get what you are saying there.


The first glance looks awesome...but I wouldn't make them read too much.
 
C

cucu

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i like the card , but why put "minimum residue" i would stick with positive and no neg

the other thing that hit my eye was "Just ash Josh" thats what it looks like to me
 

Brian R

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cucu said:
i like the card , but why put "minimum residue" i would stick with positive and no neg

the other thing that hit my eye was "Just ash Josh" thats what it looks like to me



You're right.....
Stays clean longer....has always been a good one.
 

Jack May

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Nice Fred. I picked up three things. First, the ask looks like ash as Jerry said.

The second, and a generalised statement, is, that I prefer an uncluttered front to catch the attention, then go into more detail on teh reverse side.

Personal preference, but it's the other way round.

Fianlly, I assume by the limited time offer that you don't normally give the spotter away for free? Should you show the RRP of the product to indicate a value to the client or is it low enough that the absense of it adds more value?

John
 

Art Kelley

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That's a great looking card, and simply sending it out will be helpful to your business, but the offer of a "free bottle" of spotter isn't very compelling. It's not worth even mentioning. Now, "Free Scotchgard limited time", that would get their attention. Or partner with a local vacuum shop and give a certificate for a free vacuum tune-up.
 

Ken Snow

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I agree with others and offer 2 more suggestions.

1. If you keep the Maximum Cleaning, Minimum Residue make it in the darker blue vs reverse. Very hard to read on a lightish card stock.

2. The next sentence runs on a bit. Consider a period between the words mind and to or at least a ... to give it a natural pause and emphasis to a reader. The ... will actually make it more visually appealing in my opinion as it will spread that line out a little more.

Respectfully,
Ken
 
F

FB7777

Guest
thanks guys I'm new to direct mail other than reminder cards, this was an existing card of Wayne's with a few tweaks

I should have caught the minimum residue line and yanked it


The free bottle is weak and essentially a non offer ...


Next card I'll bring here before I go to print


seeing how its going to previous, its more of a reminder anyways


I'll save the discounting for next winter
 

LisaWagnerCRS

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pfred said:
thanks guys I'm new to direct mail other than reminder cards, this was an existing card of Wayne's with a few tweaks

I should have caught the minimum residue line and yanked it


The free bottle is weak and essentially a non offer ...


Next card I'll bring here before I go to print


seeing how its going to previous, its more of a reminder anyways


I'll save the discounting for next winter

It needs a call to action with a deadline (otherwise they will set it aside).

You also need a guarantee.

Lisa
 

Steve Toburen

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Fred,
Wayne does a great job graphically and emotionally. However, many of us (and I am worse than most) are just too darn wordy when it comes to writing for business. My son bought me a great book that is 30 years old and yet could have been written yesterday called "On Writing Well". It is 8.54 at Amazon and "eligible for free shipping".

http://www.amazon.com/Writing-Well-30th ... 000&sr=1-1

I highly recommend it. (You may even see shorter posts from me.)

Steve Toburen
www.SFE.JonDon.com

PS This may be my only post ever with a link that is not shamelessly promoting Jon-Don and/or SFS. Ya might want to frame it ...
 

Desk Jockey

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I think Steve must be getting a kickback or royalty or something, he recommended the same book to me! :p



Seriously though, thank you Steve, I always appreciate your help! 8)
 
F

FB7777

Guest
Thanks Steve and everyone else

The direct response arena is not short on varying opinions on content

Looking at The Next 30 Days from Jon Don, most of the ads are loaded with text and no graphics

Some people suggest educating the client, which can't be done with a naughty dog and a tag line "got poop?"

I think most of us are too close to the industry to know which content pulls best

One thing I believe we all can agree on is consistency and frequency


Has the May class SFS location been decided yet Steve? My money is on Langhorne ... New Hampshire is a small market store
 

Royal Man

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I have a lot of experience with post cards.

If it as going out to previous clients usually the graphic to get attention is all that really matters.

Most client don't read them much more than giving it a quick glance.

If they are already wanting it done they will keep the card. If they are not it will go into the trash before they get in the door.

Most don't even care about the offer. The card works more like a reminder.

I do wonder if the postal bar code and especially the dreaded paper bar code might nuke some of your information.

You might want to mail a few to yourself and some bad addresses(so they come back to you) as a test.
 
F

FB7777

Guest
Dave Yoakum said:
I have a lot of experience with post cards.

If it as going out to previous clients usually the graphic to get attention is all that really matters.

Most client don't read them much more than giving it a quick glance.

If they are already wanting it done they will keep the card. If they are not it will go into the trash before they get in the door.

Most don't even care about the offer. The card works more like a reminder.

I do wonder if the postal bar code and especially the dreaded paper bar code might nuke some of your information.

You might want to mail a few to yourself and some bad addresses(so they come back to you) as a test.
I should be good with the bar code as it should run across the addressed side of the card , lower portion where there is no text

I hate to admit this but I completely agree with the rest of what you posted Dave :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
 

Brian R

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They act as "reminders" to new clients as well.

Kinda like when I get a Pizza flier on my door...If see it and want pizza and check it out...if I see it and think "I don't want pizza" I toss it.

If it's a crappy done flier it might remind me that I want pizza but then I go to another parlor.


So you're on the right track with the initial visual.

Everything else is just the after thought.


I like the "call to action" ...very important.
 

Brian R

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pfred said:
Dave Yoakum said:
I have a lot of experience with post cards.

If it as going out to previous clients usually the graphic to get attention is all that really matters.

Most client don't read them much more than giving it a quick glance.

If they are already wanting it done they will keep the card. If they are not it will go into the trash before they get in the door.

Most don't even care about the offer. The card works more like a reminder.

I do wonder if the postal bar code and especially the dreaded paper bar code might nuke some of your information.

You might want to mail a few to yourself and some bad addresses(so they come back to you) as a test.
I should be good with the bar code as it should run across the addressed side of the card , lower portion where there is no text

I hate to admit this but I completely agree with the rest of what you posted Dave :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

:shock:
 

Royal Man

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pfred said:
Dave Yoakum said:
I have a lot of experience with post cards.

If it as going out to previous clients usually the graphic to get attention is all that really matters.

Most client don't read them much more than giving it a quick glance.

If they are already wanting it done they will keep the card. If they are not it will go into the trash before they get in the door.

Most don't even care about the offer. The card works more like a reminder.

I do wonder if the postal bar code and especially the dreaded paper bar code might nuke some of your information.

You might want to mail a few to yourself and some bad addresses(so they come back to you) as a test.
I should be good with the bar code as it should run across the addressed side of the card , lower portion where there is no text

I hate to admit this but I completely agree with the rest of what you posted Dave :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


Hell just freeze over?
BTW: sometimes those barcode paper strips can appear on the back of postcards. Why I suggested a test or visit to the post office.

If you check your junk mail you'll see that major corps are avoiding the barcode dilemma by printing the barcode themselves on top of(or along with) the address.
 

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