Commercial Sales Aid/Shell Sheet

[Shane Deubell]

Now this is a sales aid/sell sheet NOT a flyer...
Although sometimes we do use it as a flyer when lazy .

We use this attached to the custom estimate form and a cover letter for commercial proposals. During an estimate i use it to cross-sell and explain the different services/options.

Could do a better job copy writing i think, any ideas?

 

[Jerry]

I like it! I am in the middle of doing something similar. Did Phillip lay this out for you? Looks like his work..

 

[Ken Snow]

Yes- cut 50% of the words out, show it again and then I will suggest taking another 25% out. :-)

Make it emailable as well. imo only jobs less than $250 should get a hand written estimate at the time of the job, others should get electronically as it is likely it may need to go up the food chain and it makes it easier.

You can include an estimate, some pertinent before and after pics as well as a menu of other things you offer~ though really I would have your estimate include the whole menu anyway.

 

[Shane Deubell]

Yeah but if i posted the email version then i have nothing to talk about next week....

Too wordy, it does repeat a little bit too much. Good points Ken!
Tough one for me though as i have always used way too much copy in my proposals and it always works, nobody actually reads it but they assume you are THE professional company.

 

[Desk Jockey]

Looks great, like the look of the piece. Very professional, Congrats!

 

[Ken Snow]

People may be buying for other reasons than too much copy Shane. If you look sharp, price appropriately and are showing professional materials you may be winning them over in spite of being too wordy :-)

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[Derek]

nice stuff Shane.

 

[BLewis]

Thanks Shane, may I "steal" it. lol, my next project is a commercial brochure after our church cleanng brochure. This is a really good product, thanks for having the guts to post it.

 

[Shane Deubell]

People may be buying for other reasons than too much copy Shane. If you look sharp, price appropriately and are showing professional materials you may be winning them over in spite of being too wordy :-)

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Definitely going to take your advice on the email version and knock this beast down to 1 page.

Overall you are right, i use this as a "sales aid" for myself more then the prospect values it. For whatever reason i need something visual when selling, just the routine.
Can easily chop off a 1/3 of the text though or more...

Thanks for the honest feedback.

 

[Russ T.]

I like it a lot. Competition is probably not doing anything like that. E-mail version to be attached to a Service Monster Estimate would be slick. I'd like to put together an "intro" piece to give to homeowner upon arrival as well...


Russ Terhaar
The Clean Machine of Iowa LLC
www.thegreatcleanmachine.com

 

[tmiklethun]

People may be buying for other reasons than too much copy Shane. If you look sharp, price appropriately and are showing professional materials you may be winning them over in spite of being too wordy :-)

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I would tend to disagree, but I think it has alot to do with your business model. I know that Ken runs a great company, but his marketing plan in based on lower cost high volume cleaning. In a business model like mine, where I charge higher prices the advertising needs to be different. I use long form copy specifically because I need to be able to explain why someone should be willing to pay the price I charge.

To assume that long form copy is always wrong does not take into account the type of business being ran. I don't what the model that Shane is using or if long for copy is right for him, but it may be.

 

[Ken Snow]

It doesn't hav t do with price in my opinion, it is about peoples time. My commercial salspeople have a 15-20 presentation folder. Each page has pictures and a few words for each picture. Now that I understand how Shane is using this I think it is great. We are never marketing price for commercial.

 

[TomKing]

Shane
I think what you are doing is awesome. I would think most beside ken have nothing even close to the quality you have developed.
I like you have a single multi product sales sheet. I think Ken is right more specific lead sheets with less print is the way to go. I have had that idea on my to do list for over 1 year.

If your lead sheet is on slick paper full color most customers will be impressed.

Your ad slick makes you look like a national company.

Great Job

 

[Shane Deubell]

Shane
I think what you are doing is awesome. I would think most beside ken have nothing even close to the quality you have developed.
I like you have a single multi product sales sheet. I think Ken is right more specific lead sheets with less print is the way to go. I have had that idea on my to do list for over 1 year.

If your lead sheet is on slick paper full color most customers will be impressed.

Your ad slick makes you look like a national company.

Great Job

That's pretty much the narrative i try to create, understand most owner operators hate the national companies but consumers like to buy from national chains/franchises. We can be like them without being like them... if that makes any sense.