Here's an idea, Brian, get a new container of dental floss, pull out about three feet of floss, without breaking off the roll, and swallow it, keep pulling out dental floss and swallowing it until it comes out of your ass. Drink plenty of water while doing this to make it go easier.
When you've got about four feet of dental floss hanging out your rear, tied the ass end of the floss to your right big toe.
Now carefully pull the dental floss back out of your mouth until your foot disappears.
Thanks, you just saved me a trip to Texas.