I would rather tell alexa to set their alarm clock at 3am with horror movie sounds
Matt, the Alexa would not be a good match for you. You would spend hours, if not weeks, asking it dumb questions trying to find out the meaningful answers to the questions of life. "Alexa, why do people use rinse? Alexa, Should I sell vacuum cleaners? Alexa, how do I send out reminder cards, Alexa, why do JW churches have no windows?"
This would go on and on, plummeting you into a downward spiral until you were a broken man wandering around the front yard with his pants around his ankles.