Mama always said....

[-JB-]

What quotes did you family/parents always say that ya just thought were either odd, or just plain made no sense at all?


My step fathers favorite saying is

" he's got a bug up his ass!"

 

[Jim Martin]

Colder then a well diggers ass.....

(from my dad)

 

[hogjowl]

"Oh goodness ... you slopped your dripper!"

 

[Mike Draper]

I wanna see asses and elbows! :shock: (when we weren't working hard)

 

[rwcarpet]

...."what the hell you doing?.....you GD potlicker"

And if you wanted to do something or get something done quick, it was "whoa,whoa...lets slow down here". This was his favorite saying the months before he died and we were trying to get him to sign legal papers for his finances and medical care.

God Bless Ya, Pops.

 

[dgardner]

(Said about us kids) - "I buy 'em books and I buy' em books, and all they do is eat the pages....

 

[Jim Pemberton]

Lee Pemberton:

No one is "just kidding"..........

Chris Adkins father, Rob:

Everything before "but" is bullshit (as in: "I love you like a brother, but..........")

 

[BigMac41]

"I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire!"

 

[jimn]

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what yer gonna get" (Forrest Gump)

I use the phrase "ass@#$%#" and elbows"

 

[Ed]

If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough. Man did I ever take that one to heart.... thathurts

 

[Brian R]

Nuttier than a peach orchard Boar
Crazier than a pet coon in a barrel of wiskey

I always like "you're about a sharp as a bowling ball (Foghorn leghorn)

If anyone was to give my mother the silent treatment or was too embarassed to talk for some reason she would say
"Speak ass, mouth won't"

My grandfather when asked how did a person die he would reply "lack of breathin"

Slicker then whale shit in an ice flow was good for someone who thought his shit didn't stink.
Slcker than snot on a doorknob was good for someone who just screwed up
Smooth move, exlax for the same

Busier than a cranberry merchant

and last but not least
when you ask my mother why she hated and divorced my father
"because he was so cheap that he would pinch that nickel till the buffalo shits"

Love it.

 

[Johnny]

My mama never said anything derrogatory about anyone. So when she didn't have anything nice to say about someone, we knew she had issues with that person.

When we kids asked my dad where he was going, he would say "To see a man about a dog (or a duck)."

 

[jimn]

How about "aim small miss small"? thathurts

 

[-JB-]

My mama never said anything derrogatory about anyone. So when she didn't have anything nice to say about someone, we knew she had issues with that person.

smart woman.

same step father...

"fart in one hand wish in the other, see which fills up faster"

about his mother, "she would give away her askhole an sh!t through her ribs!"

 

[Dolly Llama]

mom to me;

stop being a cement head

where have you been my Prodigal Son?

My Grandmother, in her soft quiet voice

"be still, Larry, be still"

some others I've heard, but can't recall who said them;

you can't listen if you don't close your mouth

God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason


..L.T.A.

 

[Mike Pailliotet]

Get your ******* elbows off the table as he jammed his fork into my forearm..

 

[dgargan]

I had a good deal of what was said above to me when I was a kid except for what happened to Mikey but I doubt he was serious. (I hope) Anyway I tried to not do the same thing to my kids and always look for something positive to say to them and break the cycle.

 

[Jim Martin]

when we would all sit at the table to eat there were 6 of us kids and all of us would be talking ....when my dad finally had enough he would yell at us to stop talking with our mouths full....

all it took was one of us to say that we did not have noting in our mouth and then he would tells us "then shut the hell up and fill them"..............

 

[Rag Spinner]

Get your ******* elbows off the table as he jammed his fork into my forearm..

LMAO Sounds like my old man!!!!!

 

[Rag Spinner]

If you don't have anything nice to say..................................LIE!!!!!!!!
My mom didn't allow us to say mean things about people, she'd rather us break a commandment!

 

[Walrus Gumboot]

"We're gonna put you in a Reform School!"


What?

 

[Steve in Omaha]

If it's worth doing...it's worth doing right

 

[adamh]

Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock

Worthless as tits on a boar hog

 

[Brian R]

How you do anything is how you do everything

Mom also used to say
"you couldn't please him if you hung him with a new rope"
Or
"I couldn't impress you if I stood on my head and shit in my back pocket"

She was and is a lovely lady.
:wink:

 

[Jack Zipper Zerkie]

Some days life is just a shit sandwitch, with out the bread ? jack z.

 

[KevinL]

My first boss when I was 14 working at a pizza place would say" do something, even if it's wrong."

 

[Ron Werner]

"as bout as useful as the fifth tit on a cow"

Gr 10 teacher:
Has the brains of dead fruit fly

 

[packfancjh]

Worthless as tits on a boar hog

I just used that line this morning!

 

[Guest]

My dad on women (when mom pissed him off), 'If it wasn't for cooking and *******, there'd be a bounty on them.'

 

[Brian R]

If we had a dirty face my mom would say
"looks like you've been sucking hine tit with ol sow"

My Pizza job boss back in High School would say
"be back in a flash with the cash, God Damnit"

His name was Shahab...Persian guy...funny as hell when he said it in is accent and kinda wagged his finger at you....I was a delivery guy.