Now that all the serious stuff is turning to fun, here's one that I posted maybe well over 15 years ago.
Also maybe since then.
It IS a true story.
Dog in the Hose
Several years back when I had a truck mount, I had to go to a friends place & clean his carpets.
So I arrive at Des’s house just as he gets in his Merc; to go to work.
“Don’t worry about the dog, just lock up when you’re finished he say’s” & drives off.
So I start getting ready while the blue heeler lies on the patio watching me.
Vacuuming done, I go to hook up the water supply hose to the tap/faucet & notice that Des’s garden hose is chewed to pieces, “not good” I think to myself.
Anyhow, I get set-up, kick over the trusty old Hydra-Vac truck mount and take the pre-spray into the house to start.
No reaction from the dog, as yet.
Then I take the wand and vac; hose in and start to clean.
This is when the dog jumps into action, barking at the vac; hose as I work my way to the front door.
He’s been yapping & carrying on now for nearly an hour, broken a tooth off into the vac; hose & I have a migraine coming on.
I’m getting a bit cranky by this time, &, as I get closer to the door, my nasty side takes over.
I rip the vac; hose away from the wand and start poking it at the dog while he’s trying to bite it.
Suddenly, I catch him with his mouth closed and the wand goes over his snout, sealing down on it tightly.
Well, this sure upsets him, his eyes are nearly popping out of his head, and he’s back peddling on the wet carpet & going nowhere.
I envisage his teeth flowing down the pipe, so I had to run outside & shut the machine down, race back in & he’s still back peddling up the hallway with the hose attached, I catch him & rip it off his snout..
He makes a bolt for the front door & goes right to the very end of the patio which allows me to finish the job, pack up and get out of there.
Two weeks later, I see Des down at the local and he’s say’s “What did you do to my dog”
How do you mean mate??
“Well, before you came, he was always chewing our garden hose when ever I watered the garden. Now, when I turn the tap on, he bolts & I don’t see him until I’ve finished”
Maybe it was the noise of the truck mount I say sheepishly.
