Dear Mr. Saiger,
Thank you for the submission of your product line to our laboratories. After much real world testing it is with great regret that at this time we must deny your request to become "Damon Proof Certified".
Should you wish to resubmit your product for our consideration, please make the necessary changes of dexterity. Don't forget to include the application fee of an Outback Steakhouse gift card. Our technicians work best when reviewing products while eating Bloomin Onions.
Thank you for the submission of your product line to our laboratories. After much real world testing it is with great regret that at this time we must deny your request to become "Damon Proof Certified".
Should you wish to resubmit your product for our consideration, please make the necessary changes of dexterity. Don't forget to include the application fee of an Outback Steakhouse gift card. Our technicians work best when reviewing products while eating Bloomin Onions.