paladin said:
TO WHOM IT APPLIES. you can edit out as much as you like it has been recorded already. This is not a threat but maybe you should seek legal council as to the definition of slander and libel and the penalties. Sweet dreams.
I understand what you are saying and where you are coming from, but I think that is kinda low class.
This story I am about to tell will make no sense until you read it to it's end.
4 years ago, we had a new convert at our church. I'll call her Jacky. Jacky once pointed at a scar on my arm and asked if it was a cigarette burn. I said no, that was where I had a pre-cancerous mole removed. One night I was at my house and I got a call from Jacky. She needed me to come over right away. She had just discovered a mole on her back, and couldn't afford a doctor's visit if it turned out to be nothing. I tried telling her over the phone what the things to look out for were, but she insisted I come to her house and have a look myself.
I showed up, and she immediately took her shirt off and came over to me to show me the mole, wearing nothing but a bra. As she leaned forward her (rather large) breasts "accidentally" fell out of her bra. I muttered something about how I thought the mole was just fine, but if it grows at all she needs to go to the doctor. She tried to thank me by wrestling me to the ground to give me a back massage, still topless.
Yes, I am guilty in that I didn't run just then... I waited for about a minute as she massaged my back. I thought about how beautiful she was. I thought about how soft her breasts were against my back, and how much nicer they would feel in my hands. (Sorry for getting graphic.)
Then I came to my senses, I thanked her for the massage and left. I went straight home to a cold shower and got some rest. What was I thinking even staying at all after she took off her shirt? I felt like crap. I was supposed to be a good example to this girl, but instead I entertained the idea of staying the night.
Well, she must have thought I was going to tell the church what happened. So, she called every girl in the congregation, every male leader and their wives and asked them all for advice on how to deal with me. Her spiel went as follows:
"Gary is a nice guy, and I want to support him as he learns how to draw near to God, but I don't know what to do about all his advances. He is always coming over late at night and I can't get him to leave. He is always talking about sex and propositioning me and trying to seduce me. I want to help him, but I don't know what to do when he's always trying to sleep with me."
I didn't know this was going on. I just knew for some reason none of the girls would talk to me. The youth of the church would plan things and I would not be invited. Nobody would shake my hand or return my phone calls.
I called my preacher and his wife answered. "So, I hear Jacky doesn't know what to do about all of your sexual advances. It seems you're trying to seduce her."
"Really?" I said
"Yeah, I kinda figured it might be the other way around." she said.
"You're probably right." I said, and she handed the phone over to my preacher.
I cared about this girl, I wanted her to succeed in the church, so I didn't want to destroy her reputation. I was repeatedly confronted about this issue for a period of months, and I always replied:
"Whatever happened is none of your business, if she wants to talk about it, that's her business, but I think my character will show what's what in the end."
It was hard, all the dirty looks I got. All the fun times I missed out on hanging with the youth of the church (I was 20, there was a big group of singles aged 18-25 that always hung out) I missed a lot, but I didn't miss a day of church, and I showed in the long run what my character was. Jacky showed in the long run what her character was. It took a whole year for everybody to come back around to me, but they did. They realized what really happened, and it gave Jacky time to figure out what she wanted. She didn't want to be a member of the church, she no longer attends. I could have exposed her, but I decided the best way was to prove my character through my actions and give her a chance to do the right thing.
That's the way I handle slander. (BTW, I don't know what the laws say, but I don't think it can be called slander if the accusations are true.) Are they true? I don't know, don't much care. I just figured in the long run your character would come to the surface and then I'd know.