This years breaking all records for dumb........

[NobleCarpetCleaners]

ass customers. This full top ten will piss me off to much to list but here are the top 2, both this week as a matter of fact, one just today.....


#1 Just today this guy who re-scheduled twice no less is prepping a two story for rental. I thought?? according to him his work was all done. Oh helllll no, the painters are there full bore, two lower rooms still masked off. I look the other way head upstairs, complete the quote and he says yep yep and off I go. While vacuuming I smell more then just latex. Hum, what's that familiar smell........., "dude, is there fresh clear coat on these stair banisters"? Oh ya they just put a coat on them. So that was just the beginning and the rest is to crazy to put into words.

#2 Ladies dog pinches a loaf right there near the front door. Just got done doing the quote and approval. She leaves the poop. I vacuum around it, she still leaves it even having looked me in the eyes a few times while vacuuming. I wand around it right in front of her as a test to see how far this chick is going to push it. She doesn't budge. Start off in another direction and work my way back out towards the front door and she realizes I'm not picking it up. She gets a paper towel and picks it up. I pull some hose over and once over the spot and pack up my gear. She pays me and never says a word.

How many questions and answers need to go into our pre-quals????? Gotta be just my time to catch the crazies cause I'm simple not saying to any customer that if your dog sh..ts while we're talking you indeed have to pick it up or I'm packing up and leaving.

And by the way, am I catching all the pet damaged house holds or has America gone over the deep end letting their animals pollute their homes?

 

[Lee Stockwell]

This is Saturday.

With a BIG smile and a "call me when you are really ready!" I'd have walked!

Too many good jobs await.

 

[Dolly Llama]

Years in Trade: 7

my magic 8 ball (not to be confused with my "spidy senses")
is suggesting you're in stage III of the sharp operator's CCing evolution
"know it all" stage...defined (by me) as a true journeyman that can fly any mission, but not mentally at the Master stage (stage IV) .

troublesome are symptoms of the "burn out" syndrome my magic 8 ball keeps showing .
the burnout stage happens to all owner/ops sooner or latter.
Some suffer worse symptoms than others for longer or shorter periods
some get thru it, some don't .

The ones that get thru it continue to the Master stage .
The ones that can't overcome the burnout, get out of the biz or continue to Master Curmudgeon stage.....like Marty

coarse it's possible Marty was always a pissy prick and burnout has nothing to do with it



It's a bitch the world is full of bobblehEdz
The less they aggravate you, the better you are




..l.T.A.

 

[Doug Cox]

The ones that can't overcome the burnout, get out of the biz or continue to Master Curmudgeon stage.....like Marty

..l.T.A.

LOL!!

I just did a couples weekend home and they kept throwing things at me to do. Normally, being the end of the day Friday I'd be somewhat pissed if I was working solo, but I had my wife on the scene, so I said "Bring it on". It really is all in the way you talk to people.

 

[FB7777]

LMAO X 2. Larry.... Great post


I've done quite well in this suck mop janitor business checking my ego at my front door, strapping on my seat belt , hose cuffing turds and smiling when contractors haven't gotten out of my way when I'm scheduled to scrub the fuzzy fibers

 

[Mikey P]

I had a maid meet me at the door with a spatula once, in her think German tongue she tells me to follower her...



to a HUGE mound of Doberman diarrhea that she refuses to deal with.


I said sure Ill take care of it but your boss is going to pay. Rich lawyer on 17 mile drive in Pebble Beach.

I tacked on an extra C note to the bill for turd scooping. Big deal.


Dogs and their owner are are life's blood, treat their shit like gold.




Later on I watcher her run the spatula under the faucet for a few seconds and put it back in the drawer :shock:



Noble, dude.. that lady could have you for lunch on Yelp, you better suck in some pride and realize you really are not the prima donna top gun mechanic anymore and just a low life slightly over paid janitor.

 

[randy]

Too funny !
Recently I went out on a call to clean an entire basement (about 1,500 square feet). She nonchalantly says that a "couple of boxes over here will have to be moved and then put back after the cleaning is complete". When I walked over to that part of the basement I was shocked to see floor to ceiling stacks of file size boxes, about 100 of them. I told her I'm sorry we can't move all of these boxes and she acted all pissed. I said sorry call us back when you are ready and walked. She got really nasty and slammed the door. I laughed it off and we to to my next job. She then calls the office to complain about the idiot that came to clean her carpet, LOL.

My favorite is the wackados that get all pissy and demand 1/2 off when you show up at 2:10 Pm for a service call set between 1-2Pm. I have found that 99% of the time this crowd is not worth having as customers.

 

[sam miller]

Poop happens I would have asked Are You going to get that because I know my Helper is gonna track it all over the house if You dont! !dork! :shock:

Really my bread and butter is pets. and some really old people. but mostly pets! Ivebeensold

 

[Out of Character - 0]

So how much more would your estimate have been if the dog loaf was there already? or what else don't you clean?


That's one reason shiteatinggrin not to use a prefilter

 

[K P]

No offence,but I would love :roll: to be the next customer you "vacuumed" for after the feces and urine and gawd knows what else.It might help if you explain that to your customers and at least use their vacuum,and maybe educate them on the usefulness of vacuuming 3-4 times a week when you are not there.

 

[juniorc82]

i have never dealt with so much bs as I have doing new construction cleanup

 

[Mikey P]

I have a college educate gardener. White guy. Clean cut and well spoken. Wife has a good job, just got back form two weeks on the Big Island.

He can tell me the Latin names of everything growing on my property.

He and his Hispanic helper come once a week on either Thursday or Friday for $160 a month.

Every Thursday AM we scoop up the 20 to 30 piles of doody off the lawn in case they mow that week. If we miss one or he comes on Friday instead, he gladly picks up the new editions with our scoopers




for the equivalent of $40 an hour.



If he mowed around a pile or asked my wife to do it he would be gone.





just something to chew on. :!:

 

[Connor]

I have a college educate gardener. White guy. Clean cut and well spoken. Wife has a good job, just got back form two weeks on the Big Island.

He can tell me the Latin names of everything growing on my property.

He and his Hispanic helper come once a week on either Thursday or Friday for $160 a month.

Every Thursday AM we scoop up the 20 to 30 piles of doody off the lawn in case they mow that week. If we miss one or he comes on Friday instead, he gladly picks up the new editions with our scoopers

for the equivalent of $40 an hour.

If he mowed around a pile or asked my wife to do it he would be gone.

just something to chew on. :!:

I'd fire you if you expected much more than that. You leave 20-30 piles of poop in your yard all week? Geez, Miguel, your yard is an horizontal septic tank, filthy hippie!!

Landscapers around here have a poo cleaning charge if they even accidentally drive through Fido's feces.

 

[Mikey P]

He named his price when I fired my Mexican last year. he sent 3 guys every other week and charged $200.


Whitey does add on little $10 and $20 fees for extras like tree pruning or turds in excess of five pounds.

 

[ruff]

A lot of the hubris here sounds I'd say...... a little hypocritical.
For the lady to expect Scott to pick what her dog just did in front of both of them is impolite, inconsiderate and demeaning. She was actively rude, or you may say- In your face rude.

Now I know that the collective sainthood here would have acted differently, saintly I guess would be the word I am searching for.

Why some of the famous saints here, I have no doubt, would have picked the turd and happily volunteered to wipe the pooch's ass

I guess it is indeed the case of the meek inheriting the earth.

And you of little faith thought that that will never happen :shock:

 

[Mikey P]

I guess I missed the part about the dog squeezing it out right in front of her and Scott.


NO way would I have picked it up.


Thats incredible that she expected you to do it Scott. :!:



































that's what helpers are for.

 

[Jimmy L]

What's the big deal?
Bend down and hose cuff it ...suck it deep into your machine....let it fester and build aroma.

Because you're gonna dump it on her lawn anyway.

No attitude of "I'm just too good for this....I'm a professional!"

gLOrIfIeD jANItOR.

 

[Connor]

What's the big deal?
Bend down and hose cuff it ...suck it deep into your machine....

WWOPD?

What Would an OP'r Do, swirl fudge?

 

[Jimmy L]

Why a real professional OP'r would likely vacuum that TURD deep into their DysOn and spew all of that virus laden pathogen loaded sheet back into the air.

Then grind the remains of the TURD into the carpet and spread it around evenly to blend it.

 

[Jimbo]

This is a short training lesson on POO Cleanup for your benefit, Scott, since it seems like you are lacking the knowledge.









First, Identify the area that needs cleaned...sometimes it does not really stand out that well.

If it is really messy...what might be known as a 'Loose Stool'...you might have to use some 'Mechanical Removal Method' prior to prespray...you don't want to pressure wash that stuff into the home theater! A 'Dustpan' works nicely for this task.

Then proceed with your best cleaning process, with whatever level of sanitizing you would like to provide...of course, don't forget to "Speed Dry' the area with a trusty 'Studebaker' drying system!

Completed project...

Here is the culprit dog...

 

[Jimmy L]

Jimbo does that require a special certification class to do?

Is there a "Feces removal " patch available to put on your shirt?

Are there additional classes to identify form, content and animal identification?

 

[Mikey P]

I hated creamed spinach as a child.

 

[Larry B]

Why a real professional OP'r would likely vacuum that TURD deep into their DysOn and spew all of that virus laden pathogen loaded sheet back into the air.

Then grind the remains of the TURD into the carpet and spread it around evenly to blend it.

Man you guys are killing it today on Mikey's

 

[Jimbo]

Jimbo does that require a special certification class to do?

Yes, there Is a Special school for Feces Remediation...under the iicrc umbrella

Is there a "Feces removal " patch available to put on your shirt?

The patch is in the form of a brown handprint

Are there additional classes to identify form, content and animal identification?

The iicrc is currently searching for a 'scatologist' to further their educational goals!

 

[Jimmy L]

Is Harold Hides leading the way for certification in this specialized area?

People say he has a collection of TURDS from around the world and he shows them in classes.

:shock:

 

[D Rice]

I had just finished cleaning and drying the kitchen and the customer asked me to put the dog's potty mats down. About 30 sec. later the dog walks in and squats in front of me

 

[Connor]

mmm, carpet in a kitchen, I bet that smells nice. Did she offer you a cup of coffee and discuss the fresh loaf Squeaky just baked?

 

[Art Kelley]

Yum. Putting it all together for dinner.

 

[ruff]

This is a short training lesson on POO Cleanup for your benefit, Scott, since it seems like you are lacking the knowledge.

For a moment there Jimbo, I lost my line of thought.
Did you say that the above is the little gift that you left behind, once you realized that your client demands that you pick up what her pooch just gifted her carpet??

Or did I misunderstand?

 

[Doug Cox]

I can't pick up freshies without barfing. I leave it to the wife. Been that way ever since diaper changing.